Recently I had an experience that affected my mind on the subconscious level when I visited historic landmark, Fort Ross. This fort was established on the Pacific Coast in 1812 as the southernmost Russian settlement in North America. Prior to the visit of the fort, I didn't even know about the history of first Russian community in California. I experienced amazement at the sight of traditional Russian architecture and clothing in the midst of Sonoma County. The interior of the fort was preserved in its original state as if it was still the beginning of 19th century. When I walked into the kitchen of Kuskov House I sensed a strong smell of fresh bread as if someone was baking just few hours ago. I was surprised to find out that no one has been cooking or baking there for many years. It was interesting that this particular smell was completely unaffected by the passage of time and the fact that Fort Ross was no longer a living community.
In several years that I have lived in US I didn't experience this traditional smell of bread in stores or bakeries. I don't know if it has to do with new technology or way of baking, but bread's flavor and aroma seem to be completely different. For instance, when I walk through the bread isle in Safeway or Costco I smell everything such as additives and spices, but the bread itself. This smell doesn't register in my head as a cue or trigger to the past memories. I just grab a loaf and continue to look for other items on my shopping list without any conscious or subconscious response.
I didn't know at first why this particular smell in Fort Ross suddenly made me feel so comfortable and cozy, but I think that my mind was unconsciously associating the smell of the fresh bread with my childhood memories. During the summer break from school I often stayed with my grandparents. I could spend all day playing with my friends outside considering that I didn't have to do my homework. Sometimes, our war games and soccer matches got so busy that we didn't even go home for the lunch. As a result, at the end of the day I was usually going home very tired and hungry. As soon as entered my grandma's house the smell of fresh baking would completely take my mind away. I felt happy to know that after eating the dinner I would be able to taste my grandma's amazing pastry. This was clearly the most joyful part of my day during my childhood years. Prior to going to the fort and experiencing the smell of the fresh bread, this past memory was deeply hidden in my mind. I could never imagine that the smell of the baking would make my mind go back in time. Without experiencing this unconscious event I wouldn't be able to form the chain of association that traces back to the period of my early childhood.
Besides having responsibilities to ourselves we often have personal obligations to family members that depend on us. During harsh times the head of the family often has to provide for his or her kids by performing job duties that don't add to personal sense of satisfaction or self-worth. When I and my mother moved to the US we had a difficult time of accommodating to a new environment and finding jobs that matched our personal description. In a short period of time we had to learn a new language and to get accustomed to a different cultural norms. Soon after arrival, it became clear to me that without college degree it would be very hard to find a decent job that would allow me to be independent. I enrolled into local community college and found a part time job in the gas station. I was unsatisfied with performing routine job duties and earning minimum wage, but I had to cope with my frustration at work in order to have an opportunity of helping my family and realizing my potential in the future. Despite the fact that my mom was a medical doctor with MBA degree from prestigious university and had 20 years of work experience in the field she also accepted jobs that were below her professional level. She couldn't find a job in the medical field considering that California's medical board required all international doctors to pass an extremely difficult test in order to get a practicing license. In order to have a chance to work as a doctor in US she had to spend several years studying just to prepare for an exam. In addition to achieving her personal career goals, my mom felt obliged to helping me get through college and supporting relatives in financial need. She started her professional career from beginning as if she didn't attend university for 7 years. For several years she worked in entry level positions such as cashier, server, and babysitter in order to fulfill her obligations to close family members.
We also accept job duties we don't like in order to have comfortable lifestyle. In a modern society it is really hard to balance personal moral principle with satisfactory standard of living. Most of us would like to afford going on annual vacations, driving fancy luxury cars, and leaving in the big two-story houses. In order to achieve this privileged lifestyle we have to chose from select few occupations even if we are not initially satisfied with essential duties of these jobs. It's not always possible to do something that you like and at the same time being able to provide for yourself. My mom's boyfriend, Nick, had always dreamed about making his living by writing novels. However, writing of a novel is long and demanding process that can take several years to complete. There is also no guarantee that the book will become bestseller even if it gets positive review by critics. In addition, the writer should have sufficient amount of money for the purpose of promotion and advertising. Nick couldn't both materialize his dream and have comfortable lifestyle without additional source of income. Most of his life he has worked as an accountant, a profession that clearly doesn't add to his sense of satisfaction, but provides material stability and personal recognition.
It is not always easy to maintain one's moral and ethical principles while performing job duties. Sometimes it is even hard to say if the decision is ethical or unethical withing context of the problem. Imagine a situation when you work for the company that experiencing financial difficulties that only insiders know about.Your friend has a large investment in the stock of the company and don't know about problems within the company. He comes to you and ask if he should buy a new house. Should you tell him the truth or should you stay true to the company? Neither of this options will result in an ethical conduct. Thus, In our line of work we are often required to either take choices that go against our principles or accept harsh consequences of going against professional responsibilities of the modern world. Our responsibilities to family members and a desire of a comfortable lifestyle make us think twice before we decide to abandon unsatisfactory job duties.
My favorite character in the Albert Camus "Exile and the Kingdom" was the school teacher, Daru. He expressed the humility towards the prisoner who was a complete stranger to him. He had no obligation for treating him nicely or showing him any respect. He knew that the stranger in his house was a murder, but he still had a trust in his good nature. Daru fell asleep next to the man who could easily kill him or try to escape from the captivity. His trust towards complete stranger or even an enemy is quite unusual. I can't see myself being so trustworthy towards someone I am seeing for the first time. It takes me some time before I can be open with someone I happen to meet at particular point in my life. I admire Daru's ability to look at the prisoner with a sense of love and respect that we usually express only within our inner circle. He treated him as if it was his close friend or family member. He put his life on the line by giving the prisoner money and providing him information needed for the getaway. Despite being provided with everything necessary for an escape the prisoner made a decision of surrendering himself. He couldn't bring the suffering to the man who trusted and helped him without even knowing his name. Daru's trust and loving attitude towards complete stranger gets rewarded through the honorable action of the prisoner.
