Recently I had an experience that affected my mind on the subconscious level when I visited historic landmark, Fort Ross. This fort was established on the Pacific Coast in 1812 as the southernmost Russian settlement in North America. Prior to the visit of the fort, I didn't even know about the history of first Russian community in California. I experienced amazement at the sight of traditional Russian architecture and clothing in the midst of Sonoma County. The interior of the fort was preserved in its original state as if it was still the beginning of 19th century. When I walked into the kitchen of Kuskov House I sensed a strong smell of fresh bread as if someone was baking just few hours ago. I was surprised to find out that no one has been cooking or baking there for many years. It was interesting that this particular smell was completely unaffected by the passage of time and the fact that Fort Ross was no longer a living community.
In several years that I have lived in US I didn't experience this traditional smell of bread in stores or bakeries. I don't know if it has to do with new technology or way of baking, but bread's flavor and aroma seem to be completely different. For instance, when I walk through the bread isle in Safeway or Costco I smell everything such as additives and spices, but the bread itself. This smell doesn't register in my head as a cue or trigger to the past memories. I just grab a loaf and continue to look for other items on my shopping list without any conscious or subconscious response.
I didn't know at first why this particular smell in Fort Ross suddenly made me feel so comfortable and cozy, but I think that my mind was unconsciously associating the smell of the fresh bread with my childhood memories. During the summer break from school I often stayed with my grandparents. I could spend all day playing with my friends outside considering that I didn't have to do my homework. Sometimes, our war games and soccer matches got so busy that we didn't even go home for the lunch. As a result, at the end of the day I was usually going home very tired and hungry. As soon as entered my grandma's house the smell of fresh baking would completely take my mind away. I felt happy to know that after eating the dinner I would be able to taste my grandma's amazing pastry. This was clearly the most joyful part of my day during my childhood years. Prior to going to the fort and experiencing the smell of the fresh bread, this past memory was deeply hidden in my mind. I could never imagine that the smell of the baking would make my mind go back in time. Without experiencing this unconscious event I wouldn't be able to form the chain of association that traces back to the period of my early childhood.
Besides having responsibilities to ourselves we often have personal obligations to family members that depend on us. During harsh times the head of the family often has to provide for his or her kids by performing job duties that don't add to personal sense of satisfaction or self-worth. When I and my mother moved to the US we had a difficult time of accommodating to a new environment and finding jobs that matched our personal description. In a short period of time we had to learn a new language and to get accustomed to a different cultural norms. Soon after arrival, it became clear to me that without college degree it would be very hard to find a decent job that would allow me to be independent. I enrolled into local community college and found a part time job in the gas station. I was unsatisfied with performing routine job duties and earning minimum wage, but I had to cope with my frustration at work in order to have an opportunity of helping my family and realizing my potential in the future. Despite the fact that my mom was a medical doctor with MBA degree from prestigious university and had 20 years of work experience in the field she also accepted jobs that were below her professional level. She couldn't find a job in the medical field considering that California's medical board required all international doctors to pass an extremely difficult test in order to get a practicing license. In order to have a chance to work as a doctor in US she had to spend several years studying just to prepare for an exam. In addition to achieving her personal career goals, my mom felt obliged to helping me get through college and supporting relatives in financial need. She started her professional career from beginning as if she didn't attend university for 7 years. For several years she worked in entry level positions such as cashier, server, and babysitter in order to fulfill her obligations to close family members.
We also accept job duties we don't like in order to have comfortable lifestyle. In a modern society it is really hard to balance personal moral principle with satisfactory standard of living. Most of us would like to afford going on annual vacations, driving fancy luxury cars, and leaving in the big two-story houses. In order to achieve this privileged lifestyle we have to chose from select few occupations even if we are not initially satisfied with essential duties of these jobs. It's not always possible to do something that you like and at the same time being able to provide for yourself. My mom's boyfriend, Nick, had always dreamed about making his living by writing novels. However, writing of a novel is long and demanding process that can take several years to complete. There is also no guarantee that the book will become bestseller even if it gets positive review by critics. In addition, the writer should have sufficient amount of money for the purpose of promotion and advertising. Nick couldn't both materialize his dream and have comfortable lifestyle without additional source of income. Most of his life he has worked as an accountant, a profession that clearly doesn't add to his sense of satisfaction, but provides material stability and personal recognition.
It is not always easy to maintain one's moral and ethical principles while performing job duties. Sometimes it is even hard to say if the decision is ethical or unethical withing context of the problem. Imagine a situation when you work for the company that experiencing financial difficulties that only insiders know about.Your friend has a large investment in the stock of the company and don't know about problems within the company. He comes to you and ask if he should buy a new house. Should you tell him the truth or should you stay true to the company? Neither of this options will result in an ethical conduct. Thus, In our line of work we are often required to either take choices that go against our principles or accept harsh consequences of going against professional responsibilities of the modern world. Our responsibilities to family members and a desire of a comfortable lifestyle make us think twice before we decide to abandon unsatisfactory job duties.
My favorite character in the Albert Camus "Exile and the Kingdom" was the school teacher, Daru. He expressed the humility towards the prisoner who was a complete stranger to him. He had no obligation for treating him nicely or showing him any respect. He knew that the stranger in his house was a murder, but he still had a trust in his good nature. Daru fell asleep next to the man who could easily kill him or try to escape from the captivity. His trust towards complete stranger or even an enemy is quite unusual. I can't see myself being so trustworthy towards someone I am seeing for the first time. It takes me some time before I can be open with someone I happen to meet at particular point in my life. I admire Daru's ability to look at the prisoner with a sense of love and respect that we usually express only within our inner circle. He treated him as if it was his close friend or family member. He put his life on the line by giving the prisoner money and providing him information needed for the getaway. Despite being provided with everything necessary for an escape the prisoner made a decision of surrendering himself. He couldn't bring the suffering to the man who trusted and helped him without even knowing his name. Daru's trust and loving attitude towards complete stranger gets rewarded through the honorable action of the prisoner.
I can clearly see the benefits of Erich Fromm's idea that we all should strive to achieve a loving and positive attitude towards both our inner and outside environments. According to Fromm the process of building strong foundation in relationships with loved ones, family, and close friends starts with learning how to show objectivity and active concern in interactions with everyone we encounter. Thus, necessary conditions for an existence of love in personal realm are practiced and developed through a loving attitude in social realm. This view is desirable, but somewhat idealistic considering that it hardly fits within the framework of modern society. In addition this principle of love can't be universally applied in all culture. Open-mindedness and loving attitude towards everyone are outstanding personal characteristics that nevertheless can be seen as a weaknesses in some societies. Thus, the positive attitude towards strangers and personal acquaintances should be applied in a more cautious form of fairness rather than love.
I started my new job at the Verizon Wireless franchisee store during the busiest time of the year, Christmas holidays. The store was really hectic and I was the only employee considering that my supervisor laid off both members of his former staff. One of them was having troubles with remembering basic job responsibilities while the other was caught doing fraudulent transactions and stealing phone chargers. My supervisor (who was also the store owner) had to work 9 hour shifts everyday due to this mishap. This was very frustrating to him considering that previously he only checked up on the store occasionally and had other consulting job. As he began training me it became clear that this man expected me to learn everything at the instant. The pace was chaotic and I had a difficult time due to lack of experience in the field. Every day customers asked me something I've never heard before ( like what are the roaming charges in Japan). I had to re-refer these clients back to my manager considering that I didn't have all the answers ready. He was getting really impatient and angry pointing to me that I should be more resourceful. Sometimes he would directly tell me off in from of the customers. This made me feel dumb and I started to get annoyed myself which in turn reduced my productivity. I felt that he doesn't like me personally and most importantly have no trust in me. It didn't take long before we started to engage in daily arguments to the point that our faces turned red. At this point I was trying to prove myself right without being objective and trying to understand his perspective. Soon It became clear to me that he had no personal problems with me when he hired another employee. I notice that my supervisor was as tough on her as he was on me. As a result I changed my behavior by not trying to prove myself right at all times. By staying away from confrontation I learned to be more patient in dealing with people in my outside environment. This experience helped me to have a positive attitude towards customers when I began working on my own. I learned the skill of maintaining my composure even in the most difficult and frustrating situations. In addition by being patient and concentrated I was able to form a mutual trust and great working relationship with my manager.
I am still very cautious about sharing my true feelings with strangers, neighbors, or coworkers, but it is clear that I learn and build my character through interactions in the outside environment. This particular experience in my job made me more receptive and patient in relationships within my inner circle. I noticed that my personal relationships improved as I became more open to the opposing points of view. It taught me the great benefit of compromise which is the key to any healthy relationship. By avoiding give in to my male ego I was able to avoid arguments with my girlfriend. It became easier for me to look at myself from the critical standpoint without trying to put the blame on someone else. I would hardly be able to practice and gain this knowledge if I was completely locked down within my inner world.
Throughout the years I enjoyed listening to music from different genres such as rock, pop, reggae, techno, and rap/hip-hop. The choice of music I listen at particular point of time depends more on my mood or what I do at this moment rather than love for certain band or artist. Music is often takes a place of the medium that lets me express my personal feelings. It allows me to think through my problems or simply release the stress that built up throughout the day. Music can also have an uplifting effect when things are not going as planned at the particular period of my life.
One of my favorite tracks is the song "Hope" performed by Russian alternative hip-hop artist, Dolphin whose life and career went through several vital transitions that built up his character. He started his music career in the controversial hip-hop band called "Stag Party". This music group used samples, beats and texts similar to those of Western hip-hop performers. The main theme of their first few albums was devoted to sex that was still considered a taboo subject during early 90s. Thus it is not surprising that despite popularity among youngsters the group was banned from major TV and radio stations. The general public in the collapsing Soviet Union was not quite ready for the explicit lyrics of the band. After the members of the band separate in the summer of 1993, Dolphin went through difficult period in his life while fighting through drug addiction and trying to find his place in the rapidly changing music environment. This period in his career was influential in providing the basis for his new music that matured together with the artist himself.
The track "Hope" is introduced in Dolphin's second solo album called "Depth Focus". In this album Dolphin avoids explicit lyrics while making meaning of hope, love and belief the main subject of his music expression. As in his previous works, Dolphin uses an abundance of electronic samples, but also adds a new feel by fitting live instruments into his music composition. The track starts with an amazing instrumental composition that is subsequently followed by the smooth melody that lays a foundation for his powerful lyrics. It has been more than 10 years since I heard this track for the first time, but it still touches my soul every time I hear this emotional composition. It is clear to me why Dolphin is regarded as one of the greatest Russian modern poets. His music seems real because he is not trying to hide anything from his audience. He bring the truth out of life in its most raw and ugly form.
After listening to this song some people label it as being "too depressive" considering that Dolphin regards hope as an illusion out of our ability to control. "Hope is self-deceit, but it is all that we have. It goes from hand to hand while selling its pride. It spits the dust into our eyes leaving us at the moment when we need it the most" In a way his lyrics makes one think that the life is predetermined by fate while hope is a mere attempt of awaiting a slight chance for an escape. However, I interpret his words as a call to leaving the hope behind while taking necessary steps required for avoiding the doom's day altogether. I had situations in my life where I didn't see a clear direction that could lead me into right path. My friends and close family members were able to provide support in times when I faced personal problems, but the ultimate escape was always a result of my personal decision. Hoping that the time will give me an answer only prolonged my suffering. Thus, I see the hope as a limit to our ability of making radical decisions and of changing destiny.
The Endtroducing album by DJ Shadow is a fascinating piece of artwork unlike anything that I've heard before. The record consists of samples from various performers that are blended into completely new composition. In way DJ Shadow create his own genre that encompasses psychedelica, jazz, funk, soul, experimental, chill-out, and hip-hop music. The strength of this album lays in its ability to flow from one song to another without creating any distraction. During the whole composition It felt like a was sitting in large opera house listening to the classic symphony. The music captivated my mind to the point that nothing mattered around me. It took me away from thinking about my problems by letting me indulge into its majestic sounds.
My favorite song on this album Building Steam With A Grain Of Salt opens with the smooth piano melody that continues throughout whole composition, and almost instantaneously adds dreamy feel to the music. The heavy drum beat that follow the piano riff have an effect of reassuring this atmosphere that is further developed with the introduction of choir mix in the subsequent section of the track. Initially it feels like you heard this melody somewhere before, but you can't recall the time or date. It seems like you are dreaming without knowing what's really happening around you. This track let your mind enter the imaginary world by blurring the distinct line between the illusion and true reality.
This composition builds itself from different music components before arriving into its complete stage towards the middle part of the song. This track is the perfect way to start the album considering that it introduces the listener to the musical philosophy of DJ Shadow and sets the ground for the subsequent compositions. Every little component that comes from different music genres is an essential part of the Building Steam With A Grain Of Salt. The spoken segment at the end of the track shows that the DJ Shadow doesn't want to take major credit for his musical creation. He sees himself as a filter that let the different music genres come through him changing into the new imaginary form.
I watched a dubbed version of Groundhog's Day for a first time about 10 years ago. Initially I didn't see any deeper meaning in the movie, but rather enjoyed it as a fun and entertaining comedy. Despite the great translation of the movie I didn't pick some interesting details of the plot. Watching the original version with new understanding of the culture and native language helped me to see the Groundhog's Day in the new light. It was surprising to me considering that with some exceptions I rarely watch any movie more than once. I realized that even great translation of the motion picture can miss on the representation of key ideas meant by the author.
After reading the Allegory of Plato's Cave it was also interesting to see how the ideas of the Greek philosopher play out in the modern day cinema. The Groundhog's Day provided an intricate example of the man living inside of his own cave with little regard toward the outside world. He sees himself as a special one destined for the success while treating others as not worthy of his time. The egocentric nature of Phil prevents him from the realization of the fact that he is far from the goal of achieving public recognition. His personal shadows blind him into thinking that being a weather man on the news channel makes him a celebrity in the eyes of naive locals of Punksatony.
Phil's initial thoughts are set on how to broadcast the festival as fast as possible and then leave the godforsaken town before the end of the day. He is annoyed with every little thing and seems to have a sarcastic remark to anything that takes place during his first Groundhog's day. The subsequent plot of the movie traps Phil inside the day that he hates the most. This repeat of events plays the role of the outside force that helps to change Phil's self-centered personality. It makes it easier to see the sequence of changes that open Phil's eyes and help him to find true love. Before achieving ultimate enlightenment he goes through stages of accommodation to his new environment. Initially he uses his ability of predicting future for getting laid with women or stealing money from the bank. Then Phil breaks the law by running from cops and even tries to kill himself on numerous occasions. As the prisoner of Plato's Cave Phil experience irritation while going through the process of rebuilding his character. It takes some time before Phil realizes that he can use his time to learn new knowledge and help other people around him. With this understanding comes the freedom that spares Phil from the limits of his inner Cave.
When I was thinking about my personal reflection to Plato’s Cave allegory I realized that the immigration to the United States helped me to find my own truth. It opened my eyes to the realities of the world outside of my native society. I had to quickly learn how to adapt to the ways of life in the new environment. I am not trying to say that I was living in the Cave-like settings, but the change was rather drastic. At some point these new unfamiliar surroundings affected me the way the sun burned the eyes of the prisoner in the Plato’s allegory.
Before I moved to the US I was attending university in my hometown in Russia where I was growing up all my life. I was enjoying my freshman year with friends that I knew back from the high school thus I felt comfortable on the new campus. I was also playing on the university soccer team that gave me a privilege of missing my classes without any serious penalties. I could always talk to the coach and he would help me to fix my problems with past due assignments and missed exams. At seemed like I never had time to do my homework, but I could always find time for my social life. At the time I thought that the university was a place where you hang out rather than acquire important knowledge.
Shortly after arrival, I realized that I have neither close friends no family members. Most of my first year in immigration, I spent sitting in the room surrounded by nothing, but the four walls. I felt that I was in a complete isolation even though the life outside of my circle was moving at the same pace as before. My main problem was the fact that I didn’t know the language very well thus I couldn’t explain myself in the same way as in my native language. There was only one way out of my personal “Cave”, so started to do everything I could do to learn the language as fast as possible. Day after day I was working on my grammar, expanding my vocabulary, reading newspapers and listening to radio. In the course I learned to enjoy the process of acquiring new knowledge.
By the time I took my first class in the university in the United States I was mentally prepared to do as best as I can in any of my classes. It didn’t matter to me if like or dislike the particular subject or teacher. I learned to appreciate gaining a new knowledge and enjoy the process of doing your own work. I feel better prepared to face the task of learning something new be it a different culture, language or occupation. This experience led me in the direction of real truth in my life. I believe that I have a better understanding of myself as a person and know what I need to do to achieve my personal goals. Without this hard process of accommodating my eyes to the “sun” I could have still been on the same path of the total darkness.
The quote "If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything" by Mark Twain is definitely one of my favorite sayings. This quote is short and rather simplistic but it is strikes me with its deeper meaning. When you tell the truth you don't have to hold inside all the lies you tell to people around you. This idea is quite obvious, but it is rarely practiced in real life. Most people surround themselves with the web of lies which keeps continually growing considering that after you lied ones you have to lie again to cover up for it. They are constantly under enormous pressure and stress from bearing these lies in mind. No matter how hard you try to hide the truth eventually it will be known because one can't keep lying indefinitely without being caught. I've had several experiences that reflects this quote withing the circle of my friends and family members. One member of my family was getting away with being dishonest to his wife and kids for quite a long time, but the truth found its way out and now he lost his family and respect. Ones you got caught with lying it is very hard to restore your reputation as an honest person.
The quote "The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences" explains most problems and conflicts facing modern society. Some cultures see their truth as the only truth that one should follow. The term ethnocentrism (seeing your culture as superior in comparison to others) is often applied in explanation of this phenomena. Most of the issues and conflicts around the world would be dealt with if only people would learn to see the truth in different things. The existence of many truths does not make one's beliefs less important or less true. It just helps to understand that what's hold true for you is not necessarily true for others around you. I came across this principle while studying in San Francisco State University. I learned in the group projects that people from other cultures may hold perspectives completely opposite to mine. It was hard at first to come to an agreement, but these experience helped me in the process of learning how to listen to others without sacrificing my own truth.
